Tantrums and two year olds...

  

This is the face of my sweet, lovable two year old when she found out we were out of suckers! 
I still maintain my belief that three is much more difficult than two, but there are moments...

I have been thinking a lot on how quickly these days go.  I remember days when the boys were all under 7 (all 5 of them) and I didn't think I was going to make it.  Now having a toddler again reminds me to cherish each moment, even the tantrum ones, if possible!  I will pat myself on the back a little because I think I have done a pretty good job living in the moment with my family.  Like when everyone was happy to be at the park together.  I would play kickball with the boys knowing that the day would come when the older ones would no longer want to do that anymore.  So I made sure to have as much fun with them as possible and I still do.  Video gaming together has replaced the kickball, and Facebook chats are done almost as much as one on one chats!
Now that Sara Kate has joined our crew though, we are getting on the floor more to play the matching game, have tea parties, and spending more time outside watching her slide and jump on the trampoline.  Kickball will happen again, I'm sure! 

This is her face after reassuring her that we will get more suckers when we go to the store!!! 

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT!



Asthma and Adoption!

I took Sara Kate to the Doc early this morning.  Her asthma is very bad right now, and she is totally out of all asthma medication-which Mark is picking up after teaching this afternoon.  She is such a strong little girl.  I can't help but think about the struggles she had the first few months of her life.  She fought for every breath for so long.  The apnia monitor was a part of our lives for 8 months, 6 different medications every day, 4 breathing treatments every day and severe reflux.  I was always amazed (and relieved) when she woke up each morning.  In spite of all that was going on during her day, she slept all night, every night.  That did not mean that I was sleeping through the night.  There were several night checks to make sure she was breathing and that the monitor didn't malfunction, which surprisingly it really never did!  I remember very clearly telling myself that whatever happened, at least I got to love and mother her.  Her first birthday was so special.  I think that is when I started sleeping better because she had made it to one year and things were steadily improving for her.  At 2 1/2 the asthma and a few developmental delays are really all that plagues her.  She is THE STRONGEST GIRL I have ever known and I still thank God every day for getting to love and mother her (and that she still sleeps through the night)!

If you have ever had a thought or inspiration about adopting, but have understandable doubts and concerns, listen to your gut.  Pray about it.  Act on the promptings of the spirit.  Only you will know what is right for you, but I want you to know that adoption has blessed my life in more ways than I can describe.  In fact, there are no words...well, maybe BLISS!       

How Firm a Foundation...

In seeking the place of calm acceptance about things going on in my life, the words of the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" have lingered in my mind for several days.  It's not a coincidence.  This hymn has lifted me in times when I was literally fighting for every breath I took to stay alive.  Different verses have helped me at different times.  At present, it is the third verse.

"Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my rightous, omnipotent hand."

I felt joy today as I hugged each of my children, read "Mr. Brown Can Moo" 5 times to Sara Kate, and made sure that Mark knows how grateful I am for him.  AND...took a few quiet moments for myself and painted my toenails RED!

CALM PLEASE!

It seems I have been racing my whole life to achieve something.  "CALM"!  Do you know what I mean?  I desire to be centered and calm instead of appearing "calm, cool, and collected on the outside, while falling apart on the inside.  This has been going on way to long for me and as the big 4-0 approaches in a few weeks, I want to change.  I think that balance has a lot to do with achieving this inner calm that I seek.  With a husband, three teens, two tweens, and a two year old, I struggle with balance.  The fact that three of our kids have special needs and the other three have needs unique to them as well keeps me in a seemingly never ending cycle of trying to survive life instead of living life.  In talking with a friend a while back, she made the comment that it seems to her that all I do is race to meet the needs of others and never my own.  We had been discussing the transition my family has gone through with Mark and I starting a new home-based business.  Later that night, I recalled our conversation and realized I wasn't sure what my own needs are!  As I closed my eyes and prayed for an answer, the word "calm" came to my mind.
My quest (not race) for CALM has begun.  The first thing on my list to help myself with this is to study the scriptures.  What does God want me to do?  What is His advice on how to achieve and live a balnced life?  Please share with me.  Share your struggles and what helped you overcome, manage, achieve peace, or simply remain steady.